The semester has been over for about a month now. I have no ideas what I’m supposed to be doing.
It is odd that bouncing from work to school to family and trying to find times to clean house or relax became a regular state of being. Sure, I broke down a few times, but I kept moving because I could see some type of progress. I felt more alive than I had in years. I want to find better ways of balancing all these demands on my attention and time. But as of this summer, I’m lost.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t have things to do. I just find my heart isn’t in many of them. I feel much of my time is spent in meaningless or mundane activities, whether blogging, reading, or going to work. I’m trying to find something that engages my heart, that makes me excited. These things are few and far between right now.